


I Knew You Were Trouble

by Weasleymama



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-17 03:00:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11266563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weasleymama/pseuds/Weasleymama
Summary: Girl Meets Joshaya - from the very beginning.Episodes re-done to make more sense where Joshaya is concerned and then some.





	1. Home for the Holidays

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * Constructive criticism
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
>   * Reader-reader interaction
> 

> 
> This author replies to all comments!

 

> She was so pretty, how had he never seen it before? Perhaps it was because she was so much younger than him. The last time he’d seen her she was ten and had a skinned knee under her ripped jeans, instead of wearing them ripped for style. She was different now. She caught him off guard with the hug. Uncle? No, no, she couldn’t consider him an uncle. Not her. Not anyone as pretty as her.
> 
> “I’m not your uncle, Maya.” He told her with a chuckle, trying to hide any blush on his own cheeks. Little did he know she was thrilled that he even knew her name.
> 
> “It’s, uh, been a while.” Make the move? Don’t make the move? Say something, you have to say something. He scratched the back of his head just to do something with his hand. “Well, you grew up gorgeous.” Josh couldn’t believe he actually said it. Right to her face. Walk away, just walk away while it still sounds cool. He spent the rest of the evening focusing on his nephew, but anytime she passed through the room he hoped she’d catch his eye again.
> 
> He wrote his cell number down and shoved it in his pocket as he worked up the nerve to give it to her. How could he do it casually? How could he still be as cool as they seemed to think he was? But she jumped in first in her own way, inviting him to Columbia County with the rest of the family – even though it wasn’t her family.
> 
> He grinned across the room to her “Cool.” And nodded a few times as he locked eyes with her. She wanted to hang out with him; she wouldn’t have invited him otherwise…right?
> 
>  \+ + + + +
> 
> While Maya agreed that it was beautiful in Columbia County, there was one big problem for her. it was _too_ quiet. She never had trouble sleeping in New York, the noise seemed to act as a soft song to her and lull her to sleep – but at the bed and breakfast she heard nothing - not even crickets were out in the cold January weather. When she couldn’t take it anymore and she slipped out of the bed she was sharing with Riley, grabbed her phone and earbuds and tiptoed out of the room.
> 
> She crept down the hall and then down a set of creaky wooden stairs only to find that the sitting room was occupied already. He was lit up by the glow of the TV which he quickly muted. “Did I wake you up?” he asked quickly, his cheeks darkening slightly.
> 
> Maya shook her head. “Nope, it’s just too quiet here. I can’t sleep.” She sat on the couch with him – ignoring the butterflies in her stomach. She’d never been alone with him before.
> 
> “I don’t mind the quiet.” Josh told her honestly. “It’s Auggie’s kicking that’s driving me nuts.” He let out a small chuckle. “Does Riley kick too?”
> 
> “Nah.” Maya replied with a grin. “But she takes all the blankets, wraps herself up like a burrito.” She paused. “Man, I’d love a burrito right now.”
> 
> “Me too, from that one truck…the green one with the-“
> 
> “Giant sombrero on top” they finished together with laughter in their voices.
> 
> “I love their nachos too.” Maya added in.
> 
> “So what are you listening to?” Josh asked, pointing to her phone.
> 
> “Ever heard of Mac DeMarco?” Josh just shrugged and shook his head. “It’s uh, indie rock, I just got into them, it’s pretty good. You want to hear some?” When he nodded, Maya slid closer to him like she would with Riley, giving him one of her earbuds and listening herself with the other. She flipped through her phone and found one of her favorite songs. As they listened, Josh shifted a little beside her to lean in closer and before either of them realized he’d done it, his arm was around her. Maya didn’t look at him as she grinned and blushed, she was too worried if she moved too much or questioned it that he would move.
> 
> When the song ended neither of them pulled back, instead they let another play as they sat in silence and listened to the music. When she let her arm rest against the side of his leg Josh – much like Maya – froze, not wanting her to move. As the night went on they moved on past songs to funny video clips and his arm didn’t waver from its place around her shoulders. She wanted to know what it meant, but to ask felt like the impossible. Asking meant knowing… and what if the answer wasn’t one she really wanted to hear?
> 
> Josh turned to face her after the next video. “You look tired.” He told her with a small smile that would stick in her mind forever. Her eyes had gotten heavier, but she had been ignoring it just to sit with him a little longer.
> 
> She returned the smile. “Maybe a little. But um, just one more thing before I go to bed.” Josh was sure she meant one more video – and was proven very wrong when Maya leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips. It was quick and when she pulled back he could see the redness on her face even in the dark room. She’d never kissed a boy before that moment, she’d never imagined that it would be like this. Josh mentally scolded himself, he should have kissed her first, he was the guy after all. So Josh did the only thing he could do. He smiled and leaned in to kiss her back.
> 
> She blinked a few times when they broke apart and smiled at him. The night couldn’t get any better than this, nothing in life could get any better than this. She was sure of that. So she did the one thing she knew to do. Leave before something ruined it. “Goodnight, Josh.” She told him as she stood up.
> 
> “Go-Good night, Maya.” Josh stuttered as he watched her leave
> 
> She walked away slowly, not wanting to show how silly she was when she cheered internally and smiled so wide it hurt her face. Once out of sight she rushed giddily upstairs and back into bed with a still sleeping Riley. Maya took a deep breath as she lay back on the pillow, touching a fingertip to her lips. This was the best night of her entire life. She turned to Riley – wanting to share this amazing news with someone, but of course, Riley was still asleep. “Josh kissed me.” She whispered to her best friend before she rolled over to fall asleep with a smile on her face.


	2. Game Night

> “So it’s game night, huh?” Josh asked as he sat down across the table from Auggie. Cory had given him a hundred – money he assumed would go towards gas and food for the boys over the weekend.
> 
> Auggie nodded and replied with a bored tone. “Yup, every month.”
> 
> “No fun?”
> 
> “Would be, but Maya’s always there so if we team up, I have to be in a group with mommy and daddy.”
> 
> Josh thought for a moment. Maya was there. Unless one could count the occasional selfie in a text, he hadn’t seen her since the trip. “Well if we went back tonight I’d be there so it would all even up.” Josh hinted. “You sure you don’t want to go back and give it a try?”
> 
> Auggie immediately perked up. “You’d play too?! Yeah! Let’s go!”
> 
> Auggie smiled wide when they came back into the apartment. ”Family game night! Now with extra family!”
> 
> Maya instantly turned and grinned at the sight of Josh. She twisted a lock of hair around her finger “Well, hello.” She spoke in the most grown-up tone she could, trying her best to flirt. But her smile faded when it was Auggie to return the gesture back to her.
> 
> Josh stepped up behind his nephew. “Auggie didn’t want to miss game night, we never made it out of the city. Oh-” He turned to Cory. “Here’s your money.”
> 
> “Hey this is a dollar! I gave you a hundred!” Cory exclaimed looking at the bill.
> 
> “That kinda money you think we’re not gonna but steaks?” Josh replied simply – followed by a ‘thank you, papa’ from Auggie. Neither knowing Josh pocketed sixty in secret. He did buy steaks – just not expensive ones so it wasn’t technically a lie – at least that was Josh’s way of thinking.
> 
> But Cory didn’t seem to care – it almost amazed Maya to see him jovially hug Josh instead of getting angry with him about the money. She supposed it was much different in her home where a steak was only brought home as a leftover from the diner. Her attention was quickly taken off money when Josh came to sit beside her and gave her a small smile. “Hi.” He told her finally.
> 
> Maya couldn’t stop smiling from the moment Josh came in. She watched as he politely introduced himself to Farkle and Lucas – he was so cool even though it would have been easy to mock them – he never did. The longer she stared at him the more she thought back about the kiss. She hadn’t told anyone it happened, she thought the following morning about telling Riley, but in the end it felt wrong. She wanted to keep it for herself – not being sure it would ever happen again.
> 
> As everyone got settled and began to talk, Topanga pulled her husband aside. “You need to talk to him. Now.”
> 
> “But, it’s game night and Riley and I need to talk about-”
> 
> “Cory, Maya is sleeping over, Josh will likely sleep over as well. You need to talk to him.”
> 
> Cory glanced over at Maya – those googly eyes looking at his little brother and he knew his wife was right. “Okay, okay.” He let out a sigh. “You start the popcorn, I’ll talk to him.” He led Josh into Auggie’s room while everyone’s attention was on snacks and closed the door behind them.
> 
> “So what’s up, Cor?” Josh asked after plopping down on the side of the bed.
> 
> “I want to talk to you about Maya.”
> 
> “Wha-what about her?” Josh muttered, avoiding his brother’s eyes. Did he know about the kiss?
> 
> “She’s thirteen, Josh.”
> 
> “Yeah…”
> 
> “Do you remember what things were like when you were thirteen? Feels like more than 3 years ago I bet.”
> 
> Josh’s eyes cast down to carpet. “Yeah, I guess.”
> 
> “You remember how big first crushes were, right? And how big all those feelings were back then?” Cory eyed his brother for a moment before he continued. “I think you and I both know she’s got quite the crush on you.” Josh shrugged a little, forcing himself not to smile. He knew she did, he did too. But…something in Cory’s tone let on how this wasn’t going to be one of those ‘good luck’ chats. “And I think you and I both know she’s too young for you.” And it was then Josh looked towards Cory. “She’s thirteen, you’re sixteen. She’s in middle school; you’re in high school and driving. Three years is a really big difference right now, bud.” He reminded his little brother. “You are in very different places in life and I don’t want to see the people I care about get hurt.”
> 
> “Cory…I wasn’t going to…”
> 
> “I know you weren’t going to do anything.” Josh blinked at his brother’s words. He was going to say he wasn’t going to hurt her, but Cory clearly had different frame of mind about this. “I know you’re a good guy, Josh. And I’m not trying to scold you for being friendly with her. But think about how sensitive girls are and know you might lead her on if you’re too friendly.”
> 
> “I understand.” Josh nodded. It all made sense now… and he knew just from the tone in his brother’s voice that he would be incredibly disappointed to know Josh had already crossed that line. “Don’t worry; I won’t let her think anything is going to happen. She’s Riley’s best friend, I wouldn’t mess that up.” Josh put a smile on his face as Cory patted his back.
> 
> “I knew you’d understand.”
> 
>  \+ + + + +
> 
> Maya jumped up to interrupt the argument between Cory and Riley as he blurted out that people didn’t know how to play game. “Let me teach ya! Because I’m always here and you can’t get rid of me.” She jumped up, playfully knocking Cory back on the couch. “Always wins.” Pointing to Topanga. “Always eats too much popcorn and says I’m never eating popcorn again.” Pointing to Riley who has a mouth full already.
> 
> She’s interrupted by Auggie asking Josh to be on his team. “Try and stop me.” The old boy replies.
> 
> “Okay!” Maya reaches out for Josh’s hand. “I’ll stop you, you’re on my team.” And Auggie grabs the other arm quickly.
> 
> “He’s my uncle!”
> 
> “He’s my husband!” Josh felt like a tug-of-war rope between the two of them and he couldn’t help wonder if maybe Cory was right…maybe she was too young.
> 
> He caught her eye a few times once the game began but he tried to avoid it. He could make his jokes and play around with everyone as they played the board game – but something inside him told him if he looked at her too long he would give himself away. When they decided to play the long game, everyone seemed to decide to take a short break. More snacks were made, parents were called and sleep-overs all okayed. But Maya took the chance while everyone was occupied and pulled Josh aside.
> 
> In the hallway outside Riley’s room she looked up at him with big blue eyes filled with confusion. “Josh, what’s going on?”
> 
> “What do you mean?” He asked, trying to look past her and keep cool about it all.
> 
> “I mean, why wouldn’t you be my partner? Why are you avoiding me and acting so weird.” She’d been working on mustering the courage to confront him since the game began.
> 
> “I’m not.” But she just eyed him. “Maya, I… I think we made a mistake.” And as her brows furrowed he continued to talk quickly, wanting to get this over with. “Don’t get me wrong, it was a nice kiss, but…I’m too old for you Maya. I’m sixteen and it’s just not a good idea.”
> 
> “I’m not a good idea?”
> 
> “No, I mean, yes, I mean…it’s just that I’m too old for you.” As she stayed silent for a moment, just looking at him, he took a deep breath. “Listen. I think we should just forget about what happened that night, it was late and we were tired. We should just forget it ever happened and everything will be good.” She didn’t understand what was happening. “So…it stays between us right? And we just forget about it?” He looked over her shoulder down the hall, worried Cory or Topanga would see the two of them talking.
> 
> “I…uh, sure.” She muttered, not even sure what she was supposed to say.
> 
> Josh smiled. “Thanks, Maya.” And he leaned in to give her a quick hug – instantly regretting it. He pulled back awkwardly and patted her shoulder before he walked away.
> 
> “Yeah…” Maya said softly as she watched him walk past her. He’d kissed her and wanted to forget it, now he hugged her and smiled? None of it made any sense to her. Something was wrong…had she done something wrong? Maybe he didn’t really understand how she felt about him? Maybe since she didn’t talk anymore about the kiss – waiting for him to bring it up – he thought she didn’t like it and he was covering. Maybe….


	3. First Date

> Maya caught sight of him and almost wanted to smirk at him. After all he’d told her the same thing hadn’t he? “She pulled that 3 years older thing on you huh?” Maya asked.
> 
> Josh was surprised to see her there, but he smiled – Maya had that effect on him. He let out a slightly embarrassed chuckle. “Yeah, I really put myself out there.”
> 
> “Oh, I’m sure I couldn’t possibly identify with your pain.” Maya began. She moved in to sit beside him, a little reminder that they weren’t so different after all seemed fitting. “Cave men? Footprints? Hold hands?” And even though it was a hard subject, she didn’t have a problem openly talking about it to him. She couldn’t be shy anymore, she knew she couldn’t hold it all in – if she did she only had herself to blame for his not knowing how she felt.
> 
> “Hurts doesn’t it?” He asked her. He wasn’t being callous or disregarding her feelings, if anything it was his only way to show he did get it. His sardonic humor had always been his crutch.
> 
> “A little bit, yeah” She told him bluntly and they both smiled.
> 
> “How do you deal with it?”
> 
> “Well me, I got this dungeon of sadness.”
> 
> “Oh yeah? You got me in there?” He didn’t really want her to be sad, if anything he wanted her to laugh in his face and tell him no. That he wasn’t worth her sadness.
> 
> “Oh yeah, you and a whole flock of ballerinas.” She spoke with just enough sarcasm that he almost believed she was taunting him, that maybe he wasn’t the cause of pain for her. She’d laughed a little with him after all, it only made sense she was teasing him.
> 
> But she turned to him with a different expression then; those blue eyes seemed to stare right through him. It was just enough for him to see that it wasn’t as much of a joke as he’d hoped.
> 
> “I’m sorry, Maya.” He said softly.
> 
> “Yeah, me too, Josh.” And with a sad smile Josh slipped off the train, leaving Maya to watch him go.
> 
>  \+ + + + +
> 
> It was nearing 9 that night when Maya reached for her phone and began to type the message to Josh, sending it before she could talk herself out of it.
> 
>  
> 
> Maya smiled to herself as sent her final reply. Resolving herself to one thing. Even though she couldn’t be older, maybe she could make him see her as behaving older.


	4. Tell-Tale-Tot

> She turned her head back and caught the slightest glimpse. It was all she needed to know it was Josh coming down the block. Maya took off into the brownstone with a grin on her face. Letting herself in she spoke up immediately. “All right, weirdos. Listen up and listen up good. I got like a minute before he walks through the door.”
> 
> “Who walks though the door?” Riley asked, turning in her seat. 
> 
> “Your Uncle Boing.” 
> 
> Riley sighed. “Oh, Maya, you've got to get off of this.” She’d heard about Maya’s feelings for Josh several times since Christmas. 
> 
> Cory and Topanga glanced to one another and shrugged it off. They’d talked to Josh, no need to talk to Maya, she understood. Plus it would embarrass her to know they’d talked to Josh about her. 
> 
> “Nope.” Maya began. “The reason he's not interested is because I've been playing it all wrong. See, my strategy of turning into a total nut job at the mere sight of him ain't working out as planned.”
> 
> “Maya, it's nothing you're doing. It's the age difference.”
> 
> “Three years older. Your dad married your mom. He's like 20 years older.” Maya argued. “I just need to be caszh. How's this?” She lounged on the bench beside Riley with her feet propped on the table, only to have them knocked down by Topanga. 
> 
> Riley’s casual act got her out the door, leaving Josh curious – maybe he’d been wrong about her. Maybe…maybe they could talk a little more. Maybe if Cory knew she wasn’t so young as Riley he wouldn’t be so against it – but of course, she came back. After one knowing look from Riley, Maya rushed back in and was on his back. What was she doing?! She couldn’t act like this, Cory might think they were closer…he might realize how often they sent texts and how much he still talked to her. “Get off me, you little ferret!” he blurted out, trying to get her off his back as she reached for the envelope from NYU. “It’s my life!” He snapped at her. 
> 
> “It affects me too!” She replied just as loudly as she snatched the envelope out of his hand as the rest of the family watched on. “Dear Applicant Boing”
> 
> “It doesn’t say that!” He snapped. She was going to get him in trouble…
> 
> "This year we are only accepting married applicants."
> 
> “It doesn’t say that!” He snapped again, but he stop trying to remove her, and didn’t even turn to read the letter, in truth he was terrified for what it said – and kind of grateful for her distraction and continued to hold her up on his back as she read.
> 
> "So... we regret to inform you that..."
> 
> And Josh’s face instantly fell “Regret to inform me?” He muttered, this was it, no NYU, no 4 years in New York, all of his goals, how much he’d been dreaming of it…all gone.
> 
> "We regret to inform you that…you will be spending the next four years in New York with Maya!" She exclaimed, happily before she jumped down. 
> 
> “I got in?” He turned to her with a huge smile and open arms. “I got in!”
> 
> “We got in, congratulations, Josh” She spoke up, opening her arms to hug him…wanting so much to be included – but was quickly pushed aside by his family all rushing in to hug him.
> 
> Josh didn’t think twice when he gave her the details of the party he’d be going to that night – not until he got her text later on that day.
> 
>    
> 
>  
> 
>  \+ + + + +
> 
>  Josh’s eyes went wide as he got to his feet when Maya stumbled in with Riley following behind. “Maya, Riley?” This couldn’t be happening
> 
> “You know these girls, Josh?” Andrew smirked at the prospect of new girls. “How you doing?”
> 
> The flirtation immediately annoyed Maya. “We're in middle school.”
> 
> “Woah!” he took a step back. “They can't be here, Josh.”
> 
> “No kidding. Riley, what are you thinking? You have to go.”
> 
> His reaction was enough to let her know he wasn’t at all happy to see her. How could she think he would be. His texts hadn’t been a joke…she knew it before she came. “You're right, Josh. We're sorry. This was a bad idea.”
> 
> Jasmine stepped in, questioning Maya. “Wait. Intrigued.” She pushed past Josh and looked directly into Maya’s eyes. “Maya? What was your bad idea?”
> 
> No turning back now. “He's her Uncle Josh. I call him Uncle Boing, because look at him.”
> 
> When the boys followed Riley out of the room Jasmine and Charlotte moved to sit next to Maya. “So, Maya, what do you see in this guy? How long have you had a crush on him?”
> 
> Maya sighed and shook her head. “It's not a crush. It isn't. Maybe I'm not as old as you guys, but I know what I feel.”
> 
> “Hey, I've never done anything like what you're doing.”
> 
> “Yeah, it makes you pretty grown-up to me.”
> 
> Maya shrugged. “I just thought if I did something like this, then he might take me seriously and then maybe we could come to some kind of understanding.”
> 
> “We have an understanding.” Josh began as came back in. Almost angry with her. He’d texted her – he’d told her not to do this. “I stay here, you go home.” But the pretty college girls seemed to be on Maya’s side and ordered him to sit. “Okay.” He said sheepishly.
> 
> But Maya blocked him out for the moment. “I'm just stupid, right?” She didn’t really want an answer, if anything she wanted Josh to be the one to speak up and say she wasn’t. But it was Andrew who spoke first.
> 
> “Hey. I would love if somebody did something stupid for me.”
> 
> “Yeah, it's not the big gestures that we do for other people that help us grow up.” The older girls tried to make her feel better. “But the small choices you make for yourself.” And they made sense…but why couldn’t **he** be the one to say any of it?
> 
> Riley caught on then, realization hitting her face. “Ohh. Maya told you guys about her crush.”
> 
> “It's not a crush.” She said again, words she’d said to Riley a dozen times already.
> 
> “Maya, can you name one thing you know about him that you love?” Riley asked, trying to make Maya understand.
> 
> “He's part of your family, Riley. I love your family.” That part was easy.
> 
> “And we love you. What about Josh in particular?”
> 
> “Yeah,” Josh broke in. “Maya, you don't- you don't even really know me.”
> 
> His words hurt, how could he say that to her? How could he act like they hadn’t been texting, hadn’t kissed…he’d said he wanted to forget it, but she couldn’t…how could he? “Yeah. You're right. I don't pay attention to anything you do.” She began, stepping closer to him. “I don't know that you drive from Philadelphia to New York, not even looking if you got into NYU just so you could open your acceptance letter in front of your older brother because you love him, and you want him to be proud of you. And I see the way you are with Auggie. A little kid who looks up to you who you always have time for. And I know that even though you'd rather stay here with these girls, you're going to walk Riley and me home. Because that's just the kind of guy you are.” She looked into his eyes, wanting him to understand. “I like you.”
> 
> “Dude! What is wrong with you?” Andrew asked, shocked to hear a girl speak like that so freely.
> 
> “She's three years younger than me.” Josh let out a sigh and shook his head. This was not how this night was supposed to go. As the girls explained to Maya in a few years he may see her differently, and made it clear he shouldn’t just blow her off he only got more annoyed. “Okay. Thank you guys for figuring out my entire life for me. But this has been the worst party of my life.” He shook his head and turned to Riley and Maya. “Come on. Let's go.” Because Maya had been right, he was going to walk them home. He liked Andrew and he was getting to like the girls before Maya and Riley had shown up. That pretty much tanked the whole night. He glanced sideways at Maya as they walked out of the dorm. Why did she have to do this? Then his eyes glanced to Riley. And how much did she know?
> 
>  
> 
>  \+ + + + +
> 
>  Josh walked in with a grin. “I just wanted to say goodbye.” His eyes met Maya’s for just a moment. “Very interesting visit.” He took a deep breath and moved over to sit between her and Riley in the window.
> 
> “Josh, you told them.” Riley accused.
> 
> “Told them what, Riley?” Josh replied quickly, almost hinting to her to be quiet. “That nothing happened? Why would I tell them nothing happened if nothing happened? Why would I tell them that, huh?”
> 
> Maya eyed him and held back a smirk. He acted like she was too young, but she was the one making the grown-up choices now and he was the one willing to ‘not rat out’ kids breaking the rules. As Cory and Topanga revealed that it was, in fact, Maya who told the truth they all looked at her surprised. “It was a choice I made for myself.” She explained. “I thought it was the grown-up thing to do.”
> 
> “It was.” Josh began, turning to her now and forgetting about his brother watching. “You’re not so little anymore, Maya. I guess I have to stop looking at you like that.” And as he met her eyes he couldn’t help but hear her words in his head just as he would for a long time: ‘I like you’.
> 
> “Thanks. Means a lot to me.” She said softly, holding back the rest of the words she wanted to say to him.
> 
>  


	5. Ski Lodge

> “Topanga, what were you thinking?” Cory asked bluntly. He didn’t question his wife often, but this time he was very concerned about his wife’s intentions. 
> 
> “Excuse me?” She asked with a raised brow. They sat in the front of the bus on the way to the lodge and spoke in hushed tones. 
> 
> “You invited Josh…on an overnight trip with Maya.” He looked back to se Maya looking over at Josh – along with almost every other girl on the bus. 
> 
> “Cory, that was two years ago. She’s fifteen, and unfortunately in the middle of a mess with Riley and Lucas. She hasn’t even mentioned Josh in longer than I can remember.” She glanced back to see nothing suspicious to her eyes. “Plus, Josh has a girlfriend. Meredith something. He told me about her on the way to the school. Nothing to worry about anymore. I think she’s over it.”
> 
> “I don’t.” Cory replied.
> 
> “Well then she’s not…but Josh knows she’s too young, he has a girlfriend at school and it’s nothing we need to worry about now.” But with another look back at Maya, Cory wasn’t so sure his wife was right this time.
> 
>  \+ + + + +
> 
> It had taken a lot of soul searching for Maya to come to a place where she felt good about herself again – and unbeknownst to anyone else a lot of that came from conversations with Josh. He’d pushed her to be herself. He’d reminded her how confidant she was when he first met her and how much he admired that about her. But every conversation they had was over the phone or in text. 
> 
> Why had he sat down with them all to play the Who Belongs With Who game? Why had he sat across from her while Lucas sat across from Riley? Why had he kept looking at her like that? She was sure she knew who she was now, that everything was better now – but with Josh there…smiling as she talked about adventure, she felt herself feeling confused once more.
> 
> None of them knew she’d turned to him on several occasions in the past, none of them knew how close Maya and Josh had really become since the party at NYU…that his apology had opened a door to a friendship – albeit not one as close as she’d like. He still kept his distance, he played counselor, he played long-distance friend (even though he lived in the city now)…but he made sure he didn’t put either of them in a position that could make Cory disappointed in him. Not until the Ski Lodge that was.
> 
> “Question number two, how do you know if you love somebody?”
> 
> “You know what?” Maya began, taking the attention off Evan. “I’m through playing games. I want to talk to you.” She stood and grabbed Josh’s hand, pulling him away from the group. He always had the answers, he was older and smarter…he was in college and knew more than she did. She needed him to make this all make sense. She sat down in the window with him and turned to face him. “Tell me what you know right now.”
> 
> “I'm a lot younger than my brothers and sister.” He began.
> 
> “So they won't have a relationship with you either?” Maya asked sardonically. 
> 
> “So I spent a lot of time just watching them.”
> 
> “So far we're still talking about you and me.” She added in with a grin – unsure of why she even said it. She’d brought him over to talk serious but something about him just made her want to tease and flirt – even when she wasn’t supposed to. 
> 
> “Stop it.” But he didn’t mean it, and his smile gave him away. But Maya just said ‘no’ with a matching grin of her own he couldn’t help but like her even more for it. “I've learned to be pretty good at observing people. Understanding what's going on with them.” He hesitated. “You sure you're ready to hear this?”
> 
> “Right now.”
> 
> “Even if it was bad for me?”
> 
> “Right now.”
> 
> “What I have observed about you... is that you are the best friend anyone could ever have. Maybe it's 'cause your dad left. Maybe it's 'cause you never felt that love... but it gave you the greatest capacity for love that I've ever seen.” He hadn’t ever mentioned his thoughts about her growing up without a dad before, but she wanted to know what he knew, and he didn’t want to lie to her anymore.
> 
> She froze, staring into his eyes before she spoke softly. “Say that again.” 
> 
> “Why, you didn't understand it?”
> 
> “No, I understood it. Say it again. Say it 50 times. Say it in French.”
> 
> And he got it then and grinned. “You heard me the first time.”
> 
> “I did.” She nodded. “Thank you, but you're wrong. It's Riley that's the best friend that you could ever have.”
> 
> As she spoke, Josh found himself speaking softly with her, not wanting to look away, not wanting this conversation to end too soon. He’d talked to her so many times in text that he had let himself forget what it was like when she looked at him like that. So captivated with him. “Yeah. What I've also noticed, Maya, is that you've cared about Riley so much for so long, that the moment she decides to care about somebody else you need to protect her.” He explained. “You needed to see if she was safe with him.”
> 
> “Yeah, well, how could I possibly do that?” And she truly turned to him for answers, trusting he really understood how this all worked. 
> 
> “Well, let's see, all right? You lose yourself and become like her so you could get to know him like she knows him. What a great way to know if he was good enough for your best friend.” It was what made sense ot him, it was what he knew had to be the reason. Because how could she like him and like someone like Lucas? 
> 
> “I was protecting her?”
> 
> Josh nodded. “She would do the same for you.”  
>  “She did. She brought me back.” 
> 
> “And now that you're you?” And this was the moment, this was when he got the answers to his own questions. And he wanted her to say she liked him again, to look into his eyes like she’d done a year before and say it just like that.
> 
> “I don't like Lucas like that.”
> 
> “How do you know?”
> 
> “I went out with him one time. Poured a smoothie on his head.”
> 
> Josh let out a laugh. That was the Maya he knew. “In a cute, romantic way?”
> 
> “No. In a, he's so nice I wanted to mess him up, kind of way. He's perfect for Riley. I know, because when you're Riley, it's hard not to like him. That was the first thing I found out.”
> 
> “When you were Riley?”
> 
> “Yes. But now I'm me.” 
> 
> “How do you feel now?” 
> 
> “I feel like... if you know me at all... and you know the last thing I would ever do is want anything that was Riley's. I love her. I always have and she loves me. We would never take from each other, and there's nothing that could ever happen to change that.”
> 
> “Good, you know, that's a real adult way of thinking.” He wanted her to understand. He didn’t see her as that kid anymore even though he still wasn’t supposed to look at her any other way.
> 
> “Thank you, Josh. Hey. Why is this bad for you?”
> 
> “That it isn't Lucas who you like?” He began with a knowing look. “That you remember who you are now?” He shrugged, not wanting to say the words.
> 
> “That conversation is the most important part of any relationship, and that you and I just had another amazing one?” She smirked at him and he had to look away as his cheeks went pink. “Josh?” She spoke up, bringing his attention back to her face – and once he was drawn in it was hard to look away. 
> 
> “What?” He asked, trying to avoid her eyes but finding it impossible. 
> 
> “Why have you let me hold on to your hand this entire time?” She asked, raising their linked hands up into view. 
> 
> Josh looked at her fingers wrapped around his hand – he hadn’t been sure if he wanted her to point it out or not. “I don't know.” He admitted softly. His eyes on hers. “I don't know everything.”
> 
> “I don’t need you to know everything, Josh. I just need to know how you feel. Do you know how you feel?” She asked him simply. 
> 
> “I…” He smiled a little wider then. “I think, for me to ever think that I don't need a friend like you in the world, just 'cause I'm a little older, that'd make me a lot less mature than I want to be.”
> 
> The grin that crossed her lips then was devious as he remembered – but in a way that only left promise of goof things to come. “You know, Boing... there are six weeks out of the year between our birthdays when we're only two years apart.” And he grinned, seeing where this was going already. “Like, oh, I don't know, right now, so... how about this? We get to hold hands six weeks out of the year. I'll take it!” 
> 
> Josh held back a laugh as he listened to her speak and gave a little nod. “We could do that. Or how about I like my deal better?” Maya’s brow rose curiously. “You once said you were playing the long game…”
> 
> “I like you, Josh. It's you I like.” She needed him to hear it, that it wasn’t about Lucas for her, it had never really been about Lucas for her. 
> 
> And there it was. The words he’d wanted to hear, in the way he’d wanted to hear it. And he couldn’t hold back. “ I like you, too.” She smiled, biting her lip a little. “And I'd never want you not to be in my life. So, how about we try this?”
> 
> Boyfriend and girlfriend right now.” She jumped in. 
> 
> “No.” He wanted it, but he couldn’t do it…
> 
> “Boyfriend and girlfriend eventually.” And he just grinned and tried to hide the blush on his face. “You're not saying no. You have to say something.”
> 
> He looked to her again, not hiding his pink cheeks this time. “I'll play the long game. Live your life, I'll live my life, I know you're out there... and I'm out there, too. That's my deal.”
> 
> “Someday?” She asked, looking down to their hands still linked together. 
> 
> “Someday.” He agreed with a sincere smile – and all thoughts of the girlfriend at NYU were out of his head for the moment as he smiled at Maya. 


	6. Bear

> It had been a trying day…but what could Maya do? Riley was her best friend and she was always so sweet and innocent and this was important to her. If it was important to Riley it needed to be important to Maya. It hadn’t even occurred to Maya that Riley should probably think the same thing for her….to Maya it was always Riley who came first. 
> 
> She plopped down on the floor – not even considering that she should just leave and get her tacos and come back – not really considering it anyway. Instead she protested the search for the bear in her own way – by not looking for it any longer. “Life, we need to talk.” She spoke to the world. “Here I am on taco day, no taco whatsoever. Would you care to explain yourself and your mysterious ways?”
> 
> And to her – life was answering her as the door pushed open – hiding her behind it – and Josh walked in. “Hey family!” He called out. “Don't try to pressure me into staying for dinner. I'm just here to do my laundry. That's right. That's a thing now. I do my laundry here. Did you know? 'Cause now you know.” He explained, making a face and dropping his large bag of dirty clothes. Josh had never had to do his own laundry before – being the baby of the family assured he was very well taken care of and spoiled. He glanced around at the house that looked like a tornado went through it. “What’s everybody doing? Who’s here?”
> 
> “Who do you most want to be here?” She asked from where she sat behind the door.
> 
> He went to her, reaching out for her hand and pulling her up from the floor. Their eyes met and both smiled. It was the biggest perk to coming over to do his laundry…he knew she’d be there. “Maya.” He said with a smile.
> 
> “Josh.” She replied, her hand staying in his. This was why she wasn’t getting her taco….now life made sense again. She was supposed to be here to see Josh. Thank you, life!
> 
> He looked at her a little longer than he usually let himself. “Long game?” he asked softly.
> 
> “Long game.” She replied and moved with her hand in his to close the door. It was only Topanga’s watchful eyes that made him let go. Maya’s face fell as Topanga explained what they were doing and Josh insisted they find the bear. It became all too clear where his mind frame was when he began to speak about college. “What’s the matter, honey?”
> 
> “I wasn't ready! It's hard. I wasn't ready. My roommate and I, we don't get along at all” he began to vent. “And I don't think it's my fault. I think it's his fault. He says ‘schnoop-aloop’ at the end of everything. Who does that? Now ask me a question.”
> 
> Zay shrugged. “What time is it?”
> 
> “11:15. Schnoop-aloop. Ask me who I am.”
> 
> “Who are you?”
> 
> “I'm Schnoop-aloop's roommate. You know what people say when they see me? They say, ‘Hey, that's Schnoop-aloop's roommate.’ My name is Josh.” He demanded. “How did this happen to me? I'll tell you how it happened. I grew up. You know what I know? High school is you last stop before you grow up. So, you don't give up on that teddy bear. You hang on tight. You find that bear. You understand what's important, Riley?” And Maya felt even more defeated.
> 
>  \+ + + + +
> 
> We looked everywhere. We can't find it.” Josh sighed as he stepped in closer to Maya once more. 
> 
> “I didn't think you would.”
> 
> “Why not?”
> 
> “Because I have a really strong feeling that it's supposed to be gone.”
> 
> “Where?”
> 
> “Wherever these things go.” 
> 
> He smiled as she spoke then, watching her for a long moment. How did she get so smart. The more she spoke, the less he found himself able to see her as so much younger than he was. 
> 
> When Josh showed up he came looking for a safe place from the storm that was college…but by the end of the day he was finding himself taking a cue from Maya. It was time to grow…time to come out of the safe bubble he’d been living in. Only to be smacked in the face with even more reality by another observant person. 
> 
> “Yeah. You know, you're not a bad guy at all.” Zay spoke up from behind. 
> 
> “Oh, yeah? Thank you, Zay.”
> 
> “ You're welcome. And I'm glad that you and Maya decided that you might be right for each other someday and you'll fly to the moon and all that.” And Maya’s eyes went wide then. What was happening…and could no one ever keep anything to themselves? She got to her feet, moving in closer. This could be bad….
> 
> “Oh, yeah?” Josh questions, turning to face the younger guy. 
> 
> “Yeah. Very sophisticated. Now here's what I was thinking back here on Earth.” Zay continued, and looked past Josh completely. He proceeded to explain that he wanted to spend more time with her…that while Riley and Lucas were coupling, he and Maya would have one another so they wouldn’t feel left out. He turned back to Josh… “That all right with you? I don't care. Is that all right with you?” He practically challenged the college student.
> 
> Josh swallowed hard and glanced to the blonde at his side. He couldn’t say no…not here in front of everyone. Cory and Topanga looked on and he felt like he had no way out of this. “Well, I think that's up to Maya.” He met her eyes, hoping she could see what he really meant. “Till next time?” And he wanted to hug her, he wanted to kiss her and have a proper goodbye…but he couldn’t. So he just smiled as he stepped past her closely.
> 
> “Till next time.” She replied with a nod. 
> 
> Josh was almost out the door when they exchanged movie invites. Maya said yes. His face fell but he held his shoulders high so no one could tell as he slipped out of the apartment. He was going to miss his chance. The long game was hard…too hard. She was going to meet other people, she was going to move on. Had this been how it felt for her all that time?


	7. Goodbye

 

> He always seemed to show up when life was trying to tell her something – at least that’s how Maya felt about it. And when she sat talking about how Riley couldn’t go anywhere because life knew no one cared about her as much as Riley…that there was no possible replacement for Riley…he showed up again. It was how she knew Riley was leaving…and how she knew Josh would be there for her. Maybe one day he’d care about her as much as Riley did….maybe.
> 
> No one expected what happened next. They had all been sure that Topanga would decide to stay, that all the love around them in New York…all the people who needed them…would all make her stay. But Topanga decided to go. London was too big of an opportunity. Not just for herself, but for her family. For her kids to learn about culture and a different way of living. They wouldn’t be gone forever…but it was time to take a chance.
> 
> The goodbyes had been hard and long… Maya spent every night with Riley from the moment the decision had been made until the plane took off. She had never cried so many tears in all her sixteen years of life – she felt lost and broken without Riley…without her safe place.
> 
> She couldn’t help to wonder if life had been right…was Josh to be her replacement for Riley? And if that was true…could she date him? If she did, what if it went badly? Shed lose her last connection to the Matthews family. She wasn’t sure if it was a risk she could take.
> 
>  \+ + + + +
> 
>  
> 
> Zay was the first to come to Maya when she didn’t come to school. Skipping classes himself to go check on her. He could see her through her window – ignoring him with her head down on the pillows. She didn’t want him, or anyone else, to see her so weak. “Uh, Maya…” He called out through the window as he tapped on it a few times. “I’d really appreciate if you let me in…you know it can’t be good for a black man to be hovering outside the window like this.”
> 
> It wasn’t what he said – since that was relatively true – but the way in which he said it, always using his humor to lighten the mood. His sardonic tone forced a smile on her face. She sat up, wiping away tears and turning to look at him. He gave her a sympathetic smile as she got to her feet. 
> 
> “In this neighborhood no one will question it.” She replied back in a matching tone as she pushed open her window. “I thought you were too well raised to come in through people’s windows?”
> 
> “You wouldn’t answer when I buzzed the door.
> 
> Maya snickered. “The buzzer is broken…and the front door to the building doesn’t lock anymore…could have just come in.” She shrugged as she plopped back on the side of her bed and looked to him.
> 
> “Of course it is.” He shook his head and took a seat inside next to her. She was still in PJs and he wondered if shed even gotten up to eat. “You okay?” She met his eyes, not even needing to answer his question. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.” He put his arm around her and pulled her close. 
> 
> Maya rested her head over on his shoulder. “I miss her.”
> 
> “I know, I do too.”


	8. Secrets

> Maya looked down as Josh reached for her hand. “Josh?” She questioned, looking down between them as they walked. 
> 
> “Is this okay?” He asked.
> 
> “I think you know the answer to that one. But…why?”
> 
> “Because I like you.” He told her simply. “I can stop if you want.”
> 
> “Don’t you dare.” She told him with a smirk, tightening her hold on his hand and causing him to laugh. Maya hadn’t been this carefree and happy since Riley left. Shed reverted back to a more defensive and closed off personality at school. She didn’t want a new friend, she didn’t want to trust again and open herself up to another person who would leave her.
> 
> When they sat down together in the park, she turned to him and asked him why he wanted to hold her hand now. What had changed his mind? “Honestly?” And she just eyed him. “Of course, always honest.” He knew that by now. “It’s Cory.” When she looked confused he explained everything to her. What Cory had said to him years before, how he didn’t want to disappoint his brother. “I never wanted to hurt you, but he’s my brother you know?”
> 
> Maya nodded. “I know. So…what does this mean?”
> 
> “What do you want it to mean?” He asked with a brow raised but a teasing grin on his face.
> 
> “I want it to mean that the long game has come to an end and you and I finally give this thing a shot.” She told him bluntly. 
> 
> He smiled, watching her for a moment with soft eyes. “Me too.”
> 
> “So…” she hesitated for a moment, almost afraid of the answer. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying? What are you saying?”
> 
> “Well… I’m saying I want to take you on a date. And that I’d like to kiss you again.” He told her but didn’t lean in to do it. “But…I think we need to talk about something first.”
> 
> “Okay…?”
> 
> “Well it’s like I said, what Cory thinks really means a lot to me. You know me, so I think you know that.” She nodded a little, watching him closely. “If he knew something happened…if anyone knew…” He let out a sigh. “Maya I want to give this a try, but we can’t tell anyone…not yet. Your dad would kill me.” He spoke of Shawn just as Maya did – as her dad, and to her he was now. “Cory would never look at me the same.”
> 
> “Josh, do you trust me?” She asked him, and he nodded. “The trust me to know that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, or to mess this up.” She smiled at him then. Life was finally doing something right for her. 
> 
> “So, you really want to do this? Not tell anyone, this will just be for you and me?” 
> 
> “I want _you_ , Josh. I always have.”
> 
>  \+ + + + +
> 
> “Maya!” Zay called out, jogging to catch up with her down the block. “I thought you said you had to go home today?”
> 
> She thought back to her earlier lie – she couldn’t hang out with them because she had to go right home after school. “I do.”
> 
> “So where are you going?” He asked, eying her. She glanced around and shrugged, like she didn’t know what he was talking about. “You live the other way, Maya.” His tone flattened as if he could read her.
> 
> “So I have a stop to make first.” She told him, defenses going up.
> 
> “Okay….” He took a moment to look at her. “You know you don’t have to lie, Maya. If you have something else to do, or just don’t want to hang out, it’s okay. But…you could just say that.”
> 
> “Okay, fine. I have something else to do.”
> 
> “Oh yeah?” He acted as if it was the first he’d heard of it. “What’cha doing?” he was trying to tease her, but she wasn’t smiling. “Just a joke, Maya, jeez.”
> 
> “It’s fine, I’ve got to go though.” She told him, shifting her bag on her shoulder and turning away. “See you later.”
> 
> Something about the whole situation bothered him. He didn’t like the idea that she’d lie about what she was doing. It wasn’t news that Maya wasn’t always the one to make the best choices – and now without Riley he found himself more concerned for her rebellious side to take over. He’d watched what bad choices did to Lucas and didn’t want that for Maya. It was how he justified following her that afternoon – just to make sure she was okay and not getting into trouble.
> 
> She didn’t look back once as she walked, never even noticed Zay half a block behind her. Maya’s only focus was meeting Josh.
> 
> Zay watched almost dumbfounded as Maya rushed towards the tall college student and her arms went around his neck. Her lips crashed against his and Zay could only stare. Long game must not have been as long as he thought it was going to be. He watched them long enough to tell that the kiss they shared wasn’t a first kiss – not even close – he hadn’t even kissed Vanessa like that. When they started off together hand in hand, Zay turned back towards home, silently questioning why she would lie about seeing Josh. Clearly they were together now, and everyone knew they had feelings and all that…so why hide it?
> 
>  \+ + + + +
> 
> “Listen up, Chuckles, you’re not telling anyone what you saw – got it?” Maya threatened when Zay finally came clean about knowing her secret.
> 
> “Maya, what’s the big deal? It’s not like everyone doesn’t know how you feel about him.”
> 
> She stared at him for a long moment. “You don’t understand.”
> 
> “I know, that’s why I’m asking.”
> 
> Maya let out a sigh as she pushed her hands through her hair. “Zay…” another sigh. “Listen, it’s nothing bad okay? Just…if you tell someone, they’re going to tell Riley and –”
> 
> “You’re keeping this from Riley?”
> 
> “And if you tell Riley, she’ll tell her parents. That’s when it becomes a problem.” Maya continued as if he’d never cut her off.
> 
> “Why?”
> 
> “Because he’s 19 and I’m 16 and they don’t like it.” She sat down on the stoop to her building. “Josh and I have liked each other for a long time, but Cory has always been against it because of our age difference.” Maya explained. “Josh doesn’t want to disappoint his brother, so we’re just keeping it under wraps for now. And when I’m 18 it won’t be a big deal anymore.”
> 
> “When you’re 18? So you’re going to lie for two years?”
> 
> “It’s not lying. It’s just not telling.”
> 
> “Lying." He told her bluntly. "You lied to me. You lie all the time.”
> 
> “It’s a secret, Zay. You’re my friend, are you going to keep being my friend and keep this secret?” The look on his face was the most defeated look she’d ever seen him have, but she didn’t let herself back down. “Zay, I’m serious. This is important to me. I love him and I need you to promise me you won’t tell.”
> 
> He sighed. “Fine. I promise. But I don’t like it.”


End file.
